


Hopeless Thoughts

by necromancyho



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Blink And You Miss It Slash, F/F, Heavy Angst, Near Future, Sad, Short One Shot, Spoilers, spoilers ep80
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-14
Updated: 2019-10-14
Packaged: 2020-12-14 21:24:16
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 365
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21022496
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/necromancyho/pseuds/necromancyho
Summary: Beau reflects on Yasha's situation and what will happen when her mind is recovered.





	Hopeless Thoughts

Beau lays awake staring at the ceiling of the lavish chateau. It’s rare that she has time alone, but Jester is off visiting with her mom. She feels herself allow the tears to slip from her eyes. 

Yasha has so much pain for the mistakes she’s made in the past. They, Beau especially, were so close to helping her break through all that pain and start to feel better. Hell, Beau even thought that maybe she was starting to open up to her and learn to love again. 

Now, Beau thinks about all the pain that will flood Yasha when she comes back from whatever mind trance she’s in. She has so much more blood on her hands, and even some of the party’s. She knows that the memories will be so painful and so fresh. They might break Yasha forever when they come back. 

Every second that passes that they can’t save her is another second of pain and regret Yasha will feel later. And every time they see Obann and his group succeed, she feels the pain she knows Yasha will feel later. Plus the pain and guilt knowing she can’t help Yasha. She can’t help Yasha now, and she doubts she’ll be able to help Yasha later. 

As she cries for Yasha, the huge emptiness inside her grows. Her emotional pain feels physical. She closes her eyes tight and tries to imagine the moment that Yasha is free. She tries to imagine being there, arms open, to help take away some of the pain. Every time she imagines Yasha face drop, she sees her eyes water, her wings fly out, her rage and pain consume her. She sees Yasha run away and never come back, consumed by pain and guilt for the rest of her life. It makes her chest feel like it’s ripping open. She would sacrifice everything, including herself, to just go back and stop this all from happening; to do literally anything that would save Yasha the endless pain she will endure. 

Beau lays and cries the whole night. The sounds of the passing storm brings her no comfort. She’s helpless and hopeless. Even a god cannot save her.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you like it! Yasha makes me cry rn. 
> 
> Come find me on tumblr  
necromancyho


End file.
